It’s funny and at the same time liberating to know that I at some aspects still think like a child.

I have yet to know many things, useful things, but I still dwell on my self-made illusions. I am content at knowing and experiencing a little taste rather than reaching the depth and reality of good things in life.

To give an example, I am content at learning just the basics of how a field of endeavor works. I am caught into the illusion of the “above average” mindset and I stick to it, and not continue to reach anymore. I remain happy to experience the kind of living of financially rich people by buying the material things that I want to, going to the different places, but not earning for my future. Future – it’s important because I’ve got to live there. But why don’t I dream something big and worthwhile living? And have a vision large enough to die for?

I have dreamed of just having an “above average” quality of life – an owned house, a car, a stable high paying job, having the ability to travel and a good business. But when I contemplate on the words of my good friend “Shake”, I get his point. He wittingly blurted in a grin, “Is that all that you really want in life?! That’s boring…!” I can’t help but laugh at myself then. I came to internally realize, “Perhaps he was right. Those dreams are very common nowadays. There’s nothing different from the crowd, at all. There’s no central purpose to which I could offer my life to and not waste any time.” If I still don’t know what my personal mission in this life is, then I am just wasting my time. Some authors agree that “If you’ll know your purpose in life, you’ll start living.”

My friend “Shake” also encouraged me to seek people who are “enthusiastic about life” and to stick with them. He believes that in order to help or influence many people, I should first be at my best. But how can I be at my best if my belief system, mindset, values and actions are conflicting and not still established with myself? I barely even care about and respect myself. Most of the times I see myself as a failure and an insufficient. But I remember his words “You have a problem with believing, brother.” Again, admittedly, he’s right, I lack faith. If I have the kind of faith that God loves me for who I am despite of my brokenness, then I will experience the love and forgiveness of a true and living God. And upon believing that, I will have to naturally radiate that love and forgiveness towards myself, then to my neighbors. When I say neighbor, I mean all of my families, friends, workmates, churchmates, or even strangers.

It’s liberating to realize that I am still a beginner in life. Author James Allen pointed that in order to really learn, you’ll have to admit that you know a little or none at all, and from that humble standpoint will you be willing to really learn the trade. That’s called Intellectual Humility.

So I pray Lord, that You continually teach and guide me in life and how to live at my best. I ask for Your Wisdom to light my ways and to learn from people whom You have sent. Lord I’m sick of living in mediocre. I desire a purposeful life. I want Your Light to shine on me Father. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.